Monday, June 22

Ask Frog Princess: How Important is an At Home Person?

From April's "Ask the Frog Princess" post, a question we hear fairly frequently:

"I notice that so many of the lucky FBRN grads live with stay-at-home moms and dads. This certainly is ideal for all involved, but in promoting the rescue, I've come across so many wonderful homes where parents work either part or fulltime. How important is this work from home status for an adoptable frog that would "do just fine with a mid-day walk"?"

Handsome and patriotic Bacon prepares to celebrate Independence Day!

We are so lucky in FBRN to have many wonderful applicants for our dogs and to have a breed that is, even with the explosion of puppy mill puppies, relatively uncommon. We have the luxury of choosing the best application from among many wonderful applications for some of our dogs.

Frenchies are highly social dogs, as a rule. They are lapdogs. They thrive in the company of people. If we could, we'd place all our dogs in great homes where someone is available all day.

Newcomer Darla

But Frenchies, like people, are individuals, and some Frenchies aren't as people-centered as others. For those Frenchies, a home all day person isn't as important, and we are happy to consider families that work outside the home. But some of our dogs have been neglected, some have separation anxiety, and some are such love sponges that they can only be happy if they have a person in the room with them. Don't set yourself up for disappointment--if the bio says a stay home person is required and you can't stay home, look for another needy frog to love.

This has been a long answer to what may seem a simple question--what are my chances for adopting a Frenchie if I must work all day?

The answer is, that depends on the Frenchie you are applying for.

OK10's Bertha gets comfortable in her home!

If you are applying for a very young, healthy, popular Frenchie and you are a full-time commuting worker who is gone for most of the daylight hours, it is very possible that the Frenchie you've appled for will be adopted by someone who works from home or works part-time or who has a partner who works opposite shifts or who can otherwise provide more companionship for the dog, regardless of whether the bio says he'd be happy with a mid-day potty break.


In any event, if you believe you are the best home for a Frenchie, complete an application and tell us why you should be selected. Don't just answer the questions, answer the questions the foster parent will have when she reads your application. If you work outside the home and are gone much of the day, tell us how you plan to interact with your Frenchie when you are home. If you have the means to hire a walker at mid-day or take your Frenchie to day care sometimes, tell us so. Provide references. Make us understand what makes you the best home for the dog. Remember, our primary concern is not pleasing applicants (though that is a very nice fringe benefit). Our primary concern is finding the best possible fit for our darling frogs.

Finally, don't give up.

Sleek Zeek!

Many of our applicants have applied for several dogs and been disappointed. They apply again. Eventually, the right dog and the right family come together. Don't be discouraged.

In fact, if you've applied for more than one dog before being matched with an FBRN Frenchie, let's hear from you in the comments. It would be very nice to give people some examples of success!

The Frog Princess


Anonymous said...

hi fp! i wanted to respond to your request for "happy ending" stories. i applied for several frenchies, mostly older or special needs dogs. i'm a physician, so i have the means to see that any chronic medical problems are given the right attention, and i've had senior pets and pets with health issues before. i applied for 4 or 5 dogs before being matched with aimee, a senior puppy mill survivor with several health issues. we only had a year together, but i did my best to help aimee feel happy and safe. she blossomed, and really seemed to enjoy herself with me, right up until the end. i applied for several dogs after aimee died. i was pleasantly surprised to be matched with lucas only 2 months later. lucas is an older boy, 7 1/2 going on 2, with a history of severe skin allergies. we've had a great 4 months together, his skin looks great, and i'm looking forward to a long, happy life with him.
the folks who do the matchmaking put a lot of effort into the process, and they do a great job. applicants should be comfortable that they will be matched with a wonderful frenchie who fits perfectly into their home and provides mutual life enhancement. your perfect frogdog is worth the wait!

Jeanne M said...

When I decided to adopt a Frenchie I made several applications to FBRN maybe six in total before I was matched up with Eva. She was seven when I traveled from Virginia to Missouri to pick her up and I must say that she was definitely worth the wait as well as the trip.
She loves everybody and everybody loves Eva. I even take her with me when I go to get my hair cut. If I show up without her everyone from the owner, my stylist, and the other employees demand to know why I didn't bring Eva.
She is a wonderful dog and I thank her everyday for coming to live with me. No one can believe that she is nine years old, her vet says she looks like a pup, even though she's lost a few teeth and gained a few pounds along the way. She has dog friends too all Bichons but Eva doesn't seem to mind and gets along with them quite well.

Anonymous said...

I think it's easier if you like the rotten ones! I was approved for BOTH rotten dogs I applied for and I simply could not imagine them being more rotten or loving them more. Currently they are in the bathtub seeing if they can find some lavender soap to eat for a bedtime snack.

Sign me,
I love bad dogs

Anonymous said...

I applied for a Frenchie that I fell in love with on your website and waited 5 weeks only to find out that she was already in her new home by the time I got denied. I cried for a week. I understand and have respect for the process, but I sure wish you made it easier on the applicants by keeping them informed. Maybe let them know if they did or didn't pass the first stage instead of waiting till after you already placed the dog they were applying for.
I just can't take the waiting and wondering game, it's too painful.

Frog Princess said...

That is a sad story, and not one we like to hear! Will forward this to the apps crew and see what, if anything, can be done. So very sorry about the disappointment!

Jeanne M said...

When I started applying with FBRN I had the same reaction and I cried too; however, I continued putting in applications for appropriate dogs only to have them placed in other homes. During one application process the foster mom contacted me but we finally agreed that another home would be a better fit for the Frenchie in question. One might think that would be devastating news but I was so thrilled to be considered that I didn’t give up and in the end, about a year and a half after I started applying for a French bulldog, I was able to adopt Eva from Missouri.

I know that it is hard not to become attached to the dog when an application is made but I believe that FBRN tries to be sensitive and encouraging to the applicants when they haven’t been selected. My advice is to keep trying because if you really want to share your home with a Frenchie FBRN is the best resource available. Maybe the web site could include a section where a few of the forever homes could share their experience that way prospective adopters could understand what it was like for some of us who weren’t successful right away. Another thing that might be helpful would be to get a general idea of where some of the fosters are located so potential adopters don’t get there hopes up for someone who is too far away. I still look at the web site even though Eva has been with me for two years and if I find a perfect match for us I will definitely apply again.

erinisawesome said...

My fiance and I have applied for 7, count em 7! dogs from FBRN so far. We are a committed couple with previous dog experience, a house, a yard, flexible schedules and most importantly, tons of love to give!!
I have to say that it's a very discouraging experience to be rejected so many times when it would seem that we meet the criteria. We do understand that a stay-at-home person is preferable but us working folks would really like a chance too if we're willing to schedule around the dog! Also we've discussed whether not already owning a dog is sometimes held again us? I'd be interested to know. Thanks!

Letitia said...

I've read this blog entry so many times but never felt ready to comment till reading the other posts about waiting and getting your hopes up...and realizing that I'm not the only one.

I applied for Tubbs over 10 weeks ago (April 28th) and after 9 weeks of being patient during his pending status, I caved a couple days ago (Tues July 7th) and wrote an email asking about my status...assuming that, at that point, no news was good news. If I hadn't heard anything yet, at the very least I hadn't been rejected and was still in the running, right?

A few hours later I received a response asking me to be patient and re-explaining the process. I was happy for the response but a little discouraged since it was more or less "cookie cutter" email and gave me no new information - nothing that I hadn't already read during my inch by inch search of he website 20 times over. ;) I completely understand that FBRN doesn't have time to check details on each applicant/dog and respond to every single inquiry but it had been *9 weeks* and I somehow got myself believing that I *must* be in the final round. Who wouldn't after that long?

Well, yesterday afternoon, two days later (Thurs July 9th) I received my "rejection" letter. I burst into tears at my desk at work and could barely speak on the phone when my boyfriend called. When I had written on Tuesday, Tubbs' outcome had already been determined. But I was still given [a glimmer of] hope. My heart felt crushed.

I do realize AND appreciate all of the hard work that goes into selecting a forever home for each frenchie. And I fully intend on applying for more frogs until FBRN deems me a forever mom!! Yet there must be a way to check on your status throughout the stages of the review process. It's quite difficult to just "hope" every day and week that goes by that there's still a chance I am going to be The One.

My boyfriend tells me not to worry, Tubbs certainly went to the perfect home (and I agree!) and there are plenty of other frenchies out there for us. And then he says, "besides, you hadn't even met him."

Well the thing about never even having met him is this...
In order to want to apply for a particular frenchie I had to be drawn to him. I had to picture him in my life - hanging out in our house, snuggling into the big bed, going for car rides to Connecticut, bringing him to play dates with the cousin and neighbor dogs, taking him for boat rides, bringing him to outdoor cafes, getting him dressed up for days in the office and overall, pretty much just loving him like our first child.

I did all that...for 10 weeks. For 10 weeks I dreeeeeeamed (literally dreamed most nights!) of having Tubbs in our lives and being a part of our family. And after 10 weeks of waiting and waiting and waiting (and making up my own ideas about the review process in my head) and waiting some more, with one quick little email - POOF! - all those dreams were gone.

Please don't misconstrue any of this...I have total faith in Tubbs' new forever home and each of the FBRN volunteers that made it all happen. These doggies are so very lucky to have hundreds of families ready to love them!! I just wish I had better insight to the review process and the status of my own application.

I don't want any of us to get our hopes up so much to the point where we feel *heart broken* when it doesn't work out.


Frog Princess said...

Oh, geez, we all hate to hear about broken hearts. Nobody wants to make anyone cry or feel that bad! The final process really can take just a day or two, so our emailers who send out the "please be patient" letters truly don't know what the status of a given dog might be--could be another month or it could be a couple of hours before the dog is approved to a family.
Still, your pain is very moving, and it does seem there should be a way to let folks know a bit earlier if their apps aren't being considered. Thank you all for giving us some things to think about. And please don't give up!


Anonymous said...

I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way too. I have applied for a few frenchies, and am currently waiting to hear from the adoption team about the potential future love of my life. it is definately nerve-wrecking to not know anything about the status of the adoption or if I even have a chance to adopt her. But I am patient, and i will wait. And hopefully this time, it will be a happy ending.

I have already become attached to this little frog, and my husband tells me not to get my hopes up....but it is hard not to when you see that face and feel like you finally found a frog whose needs matches those that you can provide for. it is also hard, like letitia said, not to become attached when you literally dream about the pup and can imagine the frog being a part of your life, whether it be helping with the dishes, laundry, a lazy sunday afternoon in the lazy boy, or dressing up for halloween.

A few days ago, the little girl i have been dreaming about got a pending banner and man did it make my day! i am currently waiting...hoping...wishing that this time, she will be the one for me.

:) good luck to everyone who is still waiting to hear from the adoption team on all current adoptions. im keeping my fingers crossed for all of us :)

-Amy W.