Friday, September 21

Uneasy Rests the Head That Bears the Crown

The Bard said it very well in a little spectacular he called King Lear: "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless frog!"
Friends, behold a pretender to our throne. This is Aimee: puppy mill survivor, Cushing's disease sufferer, and now, wannabe Frog Princess. Yes, her history is a long, sad tale of neglect, disease, unhappiness and want. She has had a long and nasty bout with unexplained intestinal troubles which caused her foster family a great deal of concern.

Finally, however, an eagle-eyed technician spied the damnable varlet--giardia.

GIARDIA! How we shake our fists at you! For you are a loathsome and revolting animal! There is no telling why taxonomists have seen fit to name you so as to easily confuse the unwary between which is a nasty gut-dwelling parasite and which a favored chocolate treat and (San Francisco square) of the Frog Princess. We don't find it a bit funny.

Still, relieved as we are that Aimee's tummy troubles are soon to be a thing of the past, we simply cannot approve of the naked ambition, the naked ambition, we say, evident in these photographs. The winsome face, complete with wistful expression. The contrast between the absurd frog costume and the sad wisdom in her eyes. The
sweet and patient attitude in every line of her body. Certainly these point to a regnant and worthy challenger to the throne.
However, we wish to point out that while Aimee may, by virtue of a long, hard road of suffering and experience, actually be wiser and more deserving of good fortune than we ourselves who were born to the duty; that though Aimee may be a kinder, less quarrelsome and more sensible choice of Frog Princess; we say, though Aimee may appear at first and possibly fifth glance to be a superior candidate in virtually every way, we tell you we will not abdicate our throne! Furthermore, lest anyone forget, we happen to have the keys to the Tower in our hot little Frog Princess fist! Two names should give Ms. Aimee cause to hesitate: Lady Jane Grey and Mary, Queen of Scots.

Just sayin',

The Frog Princess


Anonymous said...

Oh, FP! We never realized how jealous and insecure you are! Don't you know that you can rely on the loyalty of your subjects?! Any such upstart pretender to the crown, no matter how seemingly worthy, must rest on their own laurels, for they will NOT succeed in any attempted coup to overthrow our liege!

Anonymous said...

oh, fp, surely you can be more charitable to the amazing miss aimee! she has been through so much, to even be remotely a threat to your rule is a triumph itself!

Anonymous said...

Stick to yer guns , sister. That Aimee is nothin' but a wolf in frog's clothing.

Yours in paranoia,

Anonymous said...

I loved this blog posting! Thanks for bringing me a good laugh on a rainy day. Mary, Queen of Scots, indeed.