Wednesday, October 28
Don't Let the Dogs Out!
Yoda for wickedness watches, he will
Everybody loves Hallowe'en, but for many a doggie, it's no fun at all. Some Frenchies LOVE it! For some, an evening of doorbells and dimbulbs ranks right up there around a nice soak in the boiling blood of the seventh circle of Hell.
1. Think about it. Constant ringing and knocking at the door. Your dog gets overexcited when the neighbors boot up the barbecue, how's he gonna feel when your entire city drops by for NO GOOD REASON on one night? Put him in a back bedroom in a crate with some nice music on and the door shut. Check on him often. Anxious froggies can start panting and some even get diarrhea from the anxiety. That's no fun for anybody.
FBRN grad Brooke and friend, Reggie monkey around
2. Some dogs don't get your sister's, "Hey, it's me! I'm Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley!" joke. Bite now, figure it out later, that's their motto. For dogs, this is a matter of life and death. Don't count on your dog's "instincts" to help him figure out who is inside that box pretending to be a dishwasher. Your dog is overstimulated. That could mean somebody's gonna get perforated.
Don't let it be your father-in-law. Who'd have thought the old man could have so much blood in him?
FBRN grad Ollie as The Lobster Rollie
If you are having costumed people over, find a quiet place to crate your dog and play old videos of quiet times, like the births of your children, on the VCR. Don't make Buddy a part of the fun.
3. Do not allow your dog to be in the front room while the door is opening and closing twenty times an hour.
FBRN grad Little Lizzy does not want to be a jiraff
Many an ordinarily mellow frog has gone zipping out the door while people are oohing and aaahing over all the tiny dancers and little Presidents. If you MUST have your dog in the front of the house, leash him and tie him to a dining room table leg or some fixture that won't pull out. Put her behind a sturdy babygate she can't get over. We still promote the back room and a crate option, however.
4. Don't let the kids leave their candy out.
The Frog Princess in costume inspired by the song, "The Long Black Veil"
After the debauchery ends and the kids have gloated over their take, put the candy in a high place where neither toddler nor athletic pooch can get at it. We have friends who brag about how they've gotten on top of kitchen counters and dining room tables and chowed down on twenty dollar a pound cheeses set out for a party, so higher than the counter, please. It's not just the sound of the children's keening and wailing you want to avoid dealing with--it's the intestinal aftermath of a couple of pounds of sugar and the wrappers that you don't want to experience. Ask someone who knows. Ask your vet. Ask your carpet cleaner.
FBRN grad Tallulah as "Looliet"
5. If you choose to put your dog in a costume, never leave your dog unattended while he's in costume. Choking on the elastic is just one problem, but dogs can swallow whole elements of their costumes, like the pants or the cape, and then there is surgery and everybody feels bad. Except the vet, oddly enough, who will kindly and competently fix your dog for you. She sees a lot of that sort of thing at this time of the year.
In short, our best advice to you and your frog on Hallowe'en is this: you do your
Joey One Eye as Johnny Appleseed
thing and let your Frenchie hang out elsewhere, nice and quiet, where no one will frighten or annoy him past his tolerance zone or tempt him to run away or leave delicious and pernicious candy around for him to find.
Keep your Frenchie around until next Hallowe'en! That's all we're asking, pleads
The Frog Princess