Tuesday, July 18

Ladies and Gentlemen: The Graduate!

As we begin today's festivities, we ask you please to start humming "Pomp and Circumstance." That's it, the music that's always played at graduation. "Baahmp buh buh bum bahmp bahhm, Bahhhmp buh buh bump baaaahmp..."

And now a hush.

A hush falls over the auditorium as one small brindle confidently scoots up the steps to receive his diploma. The audience is breathless: their favorite pupil has hurdled every obstacle, overcome each handicap, made mincemeat of naysayers and inspired every dog and person present in the echoing chamber to redouble their efforts, to cheerfully attempt, to strive! To win!

Yes, Vinny the Patch, previously a graduate of FBRN, has graduated from obedience school! As he takes his diploma from the instructor, he turns to raise a froggy fist in jubilation, and the audience erupts in joyful, heartfelt shrieks and yelps and howls of celebration!
From Russia to the mean streets of NYC; from homeless and abandoned, tied to a fence and forgotten, to his place as one of FBRN's favorite sons; Vinny the Patch, born with just a vestigial eye and a misshapen skull; Vinny the Patch, I say, Vinny! Vinny has graduated from obedience school!

And as if that weren't achievement enough. As if that weren't a magnificent achievement, let me say this--and it will surprise no one, I'm sure--Let me say this to you: Vinny the Patch was graduated with honors at the very top of his class.

Are we proud? Are we delighted? Are we fit to bust? Damn skippy.

Darling Vinny! You are a light in a dark and troubled world. Go forth and shed your message of joy and possibility as far and wee as ever you can. Vinny the Patch, in honor of your accomplishments and your sweetness and for the sake of your bel oeil, we proclaim and assert that henceforth, Vinny the Patch shall be yclept: Sir Vinny the Patch, Lord Grenouille de Colorado, a Knight of the Collar!

We join Sir Vinny's family and friends and Mea, his sister and another FBRN graduate, in commemorating his accomplishments. Well done, Sir Vinny the Patch, Lord Grenouille, our young friend! We wish you such happiness and success in all your future endeavors, and we look forward to heaping more praise and glory upon your head.

With fond regards and deepest respect,
The Frog Princess

1 comment:

pupeluv said...

I just got my Bachelor's degree in International Business, with honors. Vinny makes me feel like I went to school on the short bus!