Monday, October 9

Shoeless Joe Scuffs In

Joe looks like he's gone a couple dozen rounds in a boxing ring, doesn't he? Poor guy. He has a story to tell. This crazy mutt went wandering one day and showed up again 6 months later at a vet's office for treatment of some ugly looking owies. In the "Small World" files, the vet recognized him and helped him get home again, where Joe promptly made himself so obnoxious to the toddler in the household, the family decided he'd be better off in another home. So our rambling boy packed up his little hobo stick with the bandana on it and moved along to FBRN.
The family thinks that sometime during Joe's rambling days he might have been hit by a car, and he's certainly got some explaining to do about how those nasty wounds got on his head. Maybe a fight with a Nebraska groundhog or prairie dog. Maybe he got kicked in the face by a set of cleets on the fleet feet of a rugby player. Possibly he was involved in a bar-fight over a lady or got caught cheating at cards. Those are all stories that are floating around.

But what we heard was Joe was an undercover operative for the Canine Investigative Agency and he got ratted out, took an awful beating and got dropped off in the elephant eye-high cornfields of Nebraska wherefrom he staggered back to the town he once knew. Alas, Joe was too changed to live among ordinary people. He's seen too much, now. He needs a quiet place to deal with his memories and his regrets. Regrets that include a certain fancy chihuahua gal living on the wrong side of the Platte river.

He needs a place to rest up and recuperate from all he's seen and known. He needs a bit of snippage and a real good spa day to clean him up and soothe the road rash and the infections and the scabs on his weary feet.
He's a dead ringer for Wallace Beery, and we wanted to name him Wallace, but Joe's the name he came with, and Joe it's gonna be. He's had enough of living life under an assumed moniker.
He's moved from Nebraska down to Colorado, where there's a foster family with the means to keep him quiet and separate from other dogs while he gets a chance to recuperate. Once he's ready, we are hoping that this boy can find a room in some peaceful home where he can overcome the memories of his undercover days and of his unrequited love for a slender, big-eyed beauty. In the meantime, we'll try to get him off the sauce: you can see here that he's, well, he's dived headfirst into a bowl of au jus, and it's gonna be tough to get him out, but if it takes cold showers, tabasco, or bitter apple, we'll get him off the stuff.
And when he's fit and healthy, we'll be looking for a patient, trustworthy family who know the truth of what Dinah Shore used to sing: "Happiness is Just a Dog Named Joe." We know his new people are out there, looking for a Joe to make their lives complete. Shoeless Joe is willing to wait for them.
Chin up, Joe! exhorts
The Frog Princess

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Poor ol' guy! I think the Princess is very close, with the Wallace Beery thing, but I'm thinking maybe more of Mike Mazurki after a fight...I think it's the "shiner" around his left eye! Bona fortuna, Joey Baby!

Anonymous said...

What a great spot on Joe - I feel like a need a cigarette after that! LOL He is going to find a great home, I just KNOW it.

Karol D.

Anonymous said...

Oh, it's Walter B. for sure! Boy, can you turn a phrase. I LOVE reading your Frenchie blog. You are a wonderful advocate for the Frenchies and also just an all-around great writer.

The mastiff four (all from rescue) and their two humans are pretty much settled that we will need to add a French bulldog to our Virginia household sometime in the spring!

Cornbread said...

We hope to hear more about Joe, what a tough guy he is! Can Brian and I submit a story about our handsome little groomsman Cornbread?

Erin, Brian and Cornbread McEntee

Cornbread said...

Great story about Joe.
Can Brian and I write a story about our handsome little groomsman Cornbread?

rdgZ & Sir H said...

Dear Frog Princess,
I eagerly await to read your welcoming words for the new Frenchies. You catch the Frenchie nature so well with your words!

Your faithful readers,
rdgZ & Sir H

p.s. My brindle boy (Sir H, 2.5 years) has a crush on your highness--when I open your page, he sighs and attempts to look dignified--alas, I have not told him that you can't see him through the computer!